Monday,\u00a0 December 28<\/p>\n
Why haven’t I been writing my whole life?\u00a0 What a way to express so many feelings: joy, anger, surprise, hurt, happiness, and today, angst, something we’re all feeling right about now.\u00a0 No reason in particular that anyone can put a finger on is making us feel this way, and yet everything is driving us a little crazy.\u00a0 Things little and big irritate:\u00a0 schedules, plans, food and clothes, cars, cakes and parties and, well, you get the picture.\u00a0 The wedding, happening tomorrow, isn’t a bad thing, but somehow it’s the source of all this weirdness, these new things to do and feel, that’s making us all a little antsy.<\/p>\n
I went back to the Irish pub today, this time with my sons.\u00a0 I’m\u00a0so grateful\u00a0my relationship with each of them survived their teen years.\u00a0 Listen: I’m not just talking about them; I’m afraid I was the one often hard to live with during that epoch.\u00a0 Then at some point, maybe a gradual series of points, our relationship transitioned from being parent\/child to adult\/adult.\u00a0 I cherish that.<\/p>\n
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Though it’s not a central or even necessary part of a relationship between adults, sharing a beer with the two boys, now men I helped make and raise, is a fun, special event.\u00a0 The memory of me, as father, helping raise these two is still fresh.\u00a0 I tried to enforce rules and regulations in our household, tried to guide our children to make good choices which are often not the fun choices.\u00a0 As nice or benevolent as a parent is, he or she can’t escape needing to be the heavy, the cop, the kill-joy.\u00a0 That’s part of what makes sharing a beer with my adult sons nice.\u00a0 We’re all all of age now.\u00a0 My child raising is essentially over.\u00a0 If they want advice or guidance, they call and ask.\u00a0 Hoisting those frothy cold ones, eating french fries and sliders, we shared a mutual esteem and trust, and a certain, unique comfort level.\u00a0 We talked topics big and little, important and trivial.\u00a0 We laughed.\u00a0 We enjoyed being together in that place, away from the wedding hubbub for a few cozy minutes.<\/p>\n
A little later, I went with my wife and the bride-to-be (tomorrow’s the day!) to order a cake for the reception.\u00a0 The wedding itself will only be attended by eleven people: the eight of us (me, my wife, our three children and their three significant others), and the groom’s mother, father, and grandmother.\u00a0 Since many more want to celebrate with us, we’ve planned two receptions after the actual event.\u00a0 One will be\u00a0here in our apartment\u00a0the day after the wedding for East Coast friends and relatives, and the other, in\u00a0Indianapolis in April, for Midwestern and points west relatives and\u00a0friends.\u00a0 After tasting yummy samples of cakey richness at a local bakery\/cafe and\u00a0ordering the cake, we talked marriage and relationship over coffee and a little more cake.\u00a0 Whether beer in a pub or coffee and cake in a cafe, food is playing a big role in the whole to-do, and keeps us fueled, and, yes, a bit medicated.\u00a0 I’m grateful for its balm.<\/p>\n
That evening was the rehearsal dinner.\u00a0 There’s no rehearsal needed for a wedding with 11 attendees including the bride and groom, but it is a tradition for the groom’s family to host a meal the night before.\u00a0 Our almost son-in-law’s parents are truly welcoming, hospitable people who had traveled from overseas to be here, but had no easy way to readily invite people over for a meal, or a snack or just to visit.\u00a0 The rehearsal dinner gave them the chance to host the group.\u00a0 I was glad they had and wanted the opportunity to do that, and was also glad\u00a0my only jobs\u00a0were driving the group to the restaurant and engaging in sterling, dinnertime banter, two\u00a0tasks I could handle.<\/p>\n
With all the plans and guests and events and meals to prepare and about a thousand last-minute things to do, you’d expect that a father and mother of the bride’s own relationship, in even the best of marriages, could get a bit buffeted.\u00a0 We’re used to a lot of daily conversation, a lot of interaction which is hardly possible these days.\u00a0 To be sure, we’ve felt the lack of interaction with all these wedding\u00a0related activities, but we’re still doing okay.\u00a0 \u00a0 Our marriage is holding up just fine and will be ready to launch our little girl into her own.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Monday,\u00a0 December 28 Why haven’t I been writing my whole life?\u00a0 What a way to express so many feelings: joy, anger, surprise, hurt, happiness, and today, angst, something we’re all feeling right about now.\u00a0 No reason in particular that anyone … Continue reading