From the Bride’s Father’s Notebook – Day 3
Wednesday, December 23
I hung out with my future son-in-law today. Hung out is really the best way to say it. We really didn’t “accomplish” anything, but I think we had fun and, even better, were comfortable together. When I was getting to know my father-in-law, I remember feeling uncomfortable at times, awkward, not always knowing what to talk about or do. We were from different generations after all, but still we managed. Soon, our times together were o.k.
When I was first married, I don’t think it occurred to me to think too much (well, maybe a little) about what he thought about some guy (me) being physically intimate with his daughter, even though she was my wife. Though the tables are reversed, I don’t think I think too much about that now either (well, maybe a little). The emotionally healthy, progressive part of me wants her, of course, to have a healthy and good relationship with her husband, emotional, spiritual, intellectual and, of course, physical. A little, teeny, primal guy living in my head, (or maybe somewhere else), needs to think twice. I still have a strong sense of needing to protect my little girl from bad things, especially, maybe, this “bad” thing. Suffice it to say that in spite of the natural antagonism that should or could exist between father-in-law and son-in-law, two “rivals” for the same girl, we actually get along very well.
We first went to the famous Masonic temple in Alexandria. His dad wants to see it while he’s here. What was bonding about that experience was that we couldn’t get in (it was closed) but we struggled together to try. A common enemy, that building, set on a high, steep hill, brought us together. Since it had snowed so much over the weekend, the stairs were still very snow covered. We finally managed to reach the top, picking our way gingerly around sheets of snowy ice. While we made the trek, we chatted about this and that, comfortably filling the time.
Next we got some lunch at a local Irish pub, my wife’s and my favorite watering hole. We communed together over a pint of Guinness and ate decent Irish bar-food: a sandwich, sausages, chips, onion rings. He was concerned about all we had to do before the wedding, so I took a napkin and my pen and said, “Okay, let’s make a list.” It was a good move on my part (allow me to brag a bit), and we made a list of the tasks at hand, realizing there wasn’t all that much we didn’t have time for or weren’t doing already. We also talked religion, a delicate subject most anytime, but potentially tricky between us. He and my daughter are different religions and I didn’t want to sound or be pushy. It turned out well. We shared a cordial back-and-forth.
After lunch, we walked through a historic building, now a set of artists’ studios. He liked seeing the art. I have to admit it: he’s a real good guy and seems a good match for my daughter. I’ll be glad to welcome him into the family.
I crossed one more hurdle that day with ease, checking into two rooms at the hotel where the groom’s parents, grandmother, and the groom and bride will be staying. Through a family friend we were able to get an excellent rate for these two hotel rooms plus two more at a different hotel which we’ll claim on Saturday. We four inspected the rooms and found them wonderful, an early Christmas present. With a little kitchen area, plenty of space, and a hugely screened t.v., the rooms were just right.
